GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!

It took 51 weeks and 53 pounds but tonight at my WW meeting I hit my goal weight. If you do the math (what self respecting MBA wouldn't?) that works out to be just over a pound lost per week.

Here are some other stats if you've been playing along at home with my weight loss journey:

• I went from a size 18 to a size 8/10 (brand depending)
• I only missed 4 WW meetings due to travel
• I went up 6 times and maintained twice
• The most I ever lost in one week was 4.4 and I have no freaking idea how I pulled those Biggest Loser numbers

I have very few "before" pictures because who wants to get their picture taken when fat? But here are some photos to demonstrate how far I've come.

Excuse me while I go have a big fat glass of wine to celebrate.

Show me the mommy: Fashion Show

I took a vacation day last Monday to do a little shopping at the Concord Mills Outlets just outside of Charlotte. I was a little disappointed in the prices because they did not seem to be any lower than the much closer South Park Mall. With that said, it was nice to take a few hours, by myself (pure bliss!) and shop in leisure.

I ended up buying two suits, two pairs of shoes and some miscellaneous items like tops and nylons. My wardrobe isn't quite complete but it's getting there. I had to get both suits tailored thanks to my 5' 4" stature so the fashion show had to wait until this week.

If anyone is interested the suits and tops are from The Limited. Shoes are Michael Shannon from Off Broadway. The shoes are awesome. I got two pairs in the same design (Trevor) but different colors. They are super comfortable and I wore one pair for 10 hours for the very first time and had meetings between buildings. My feet didn't hurt at all and I got no blisters. How many women can say that about a new pair of high heeled shoes?

How has weight loss and exercise changed my life?

Writing this series of posts about my weight loss and exercise journey has been cathartic. Plus it keeps me motivated to get those last pesky 5 pounds off and continue to train for the upcoming Warrior Dash. The reason it is so motivating is because I didn’t spend a lot of time reflecting while I was in the midst of this journey. I just kept plugging away at the numbers on the scale. Now that I am at the tail end of my weight loss, I can see how it has greatly impacted my life.

Energy. I have always been a person who needs at least 8 hours of sleep to function. That is still true (I’m in bed/asleep usually at 9:30 PM). The difference now is that when I wake up I have energy. Sure, I still have my big cup of tea in the morning but I don’t need it. And I don’t find myself sitting at my desk nodding off or yawning frequently. That makes my mornings much more productive.

Patience. More energy also equals more patience. Not necessarily with work (ahem) but definitely with Cameron and DH. I find myself better able to concentrate for longer periods of time. And when I’m interacting with Cameron I am really in the moment with her. That’s not to say there isn’t yelling (well, stern voices) when she keeps whining and whining but I’ve noticed a difference and I’m sure she has too. I personally think I get less irritated by the small things but I’d have to let DH weigh in on that one.

Making good decisions. I’m not going to BS you here; I still love to eat fatty foods and drink far too much wine. And my first instinct is to not exercise. But I find myself making more conscious decisions and hence good decisions. I know that I will usually be “bad” on the weekends when it comes to calories so I offset it with regular exercise. I also ask myself, “Is it worth it” when I’m staring at a particularly tasty looking (aka carb filled) treat. Sometimes it is but other times I know I’d rather have a big lunch or dinner so I can bypass the unhealthy snack.

Body image. I am currently a size 10P and even that is a little big on me. I am planning for a big shopping trip on Monday (even taking the day off of work to hit the outlets!) as I am down to 3-4 work outfits. I love that I can fit into “regular” clothes and have a ton of options from the sale section of most stores. My ultimate goal is to get to a size 8P but I’m not sure how feasible it is. More importantly, I think I look good in clothes! I still have my moments of nakedness disgust but considering I popped out a kid, I’m generally really happy. Most of my cellulite? Gone. Legs? Getting nice and lean. Arms? Still a little flabby but much more definition. I will keep chugging away with my strength training and know that this summer I’m totally going to rock a bathing suit for the first time in years. One thing DH would bemoan is that my cup size has reduced. Not much but probably a cup size. As someone with big boobs for most of my life, I’m going to take my C+ cups and be thrilled with it. Now maybe I won’t be relegated to scoop/v-neck shirts.

Setting a good example. Exercise was never really a part of my life growing up. Sure, my dad worked out regularly and went running and my mom played tennis. But there wasn’t a good dialog about the benefits of exercise. I want Cameron to see how exercise is good for me and make it a daily part of her life. I’m not planning to push her into activities she doesn’t want but DH and I will have expectations for her to live healthy. The cutest thing ever is dressing her up in an Adidas outfit our friends gave us and bringing her to the gym with me. Maybe one day we’ll be side by side working out. Snort. No way, I’m totally not that kind of mom.

Longer life span. I’m going to live until I’m 150. Well, maybe not 150 but I have certainly come a long way from the chain smoking, exercise avoiding, beer guzzling girl of my late teens, early twenties. I guess this means I need to put more money away for retirement…

For my readers who have been on their own weight loss/exercise journeys what tangible/intangible benefits have you experienced?

I'm starting with the woman in the mirror

Almost 10 months ago I started a journey. I didn’t know it was a journey at the time but recently something clicked in my mind and I realized that what I’ve been experiencing has truly been a transformative process. This is the first in a series I plan to write about my journey with losing weight, starting to exercise regularly and perhaps most importantly, how I began to re-discover myself at the age of 33.

I never really remember being “thin”. I see pictures of myself as a kid with stick-like legs and arms but don’t have memories about how I felt at that stage. Which is as it should be. Childhood should not be about weight or self-perception. It should be about playing and laughing and crying and using your imagination. But like so many girls, that all changed for me in adolescence when I started getting breasts. That one thing changed everything for me, body-wise. Along with two mounds on my chest I started gaining weight everywhere. I assume it is related to hormones but I am not a doctor so I won’t speculate too much. It doesn’t help that I was not an active kid. I tried swimming and horseback riding but nothing clicked for me to engage in sports competitively. Instead I would prefer to curl up with a book in bed, childhood dog lying next to me. Stacey the Slug was a common family reference.

Weight continued to be a struggle through high school. And then, bam!, I arrived at college and everything changed. I’m not sure if it was the crappy food, starting smoking, copious amounts of beer, or (most likely) the enforced walking regimen to traverse the campus but the weight poured off and I lost 15-20 pounds and was suddenly a size 6. I discovered fraternity parties and boys. It was a lot of fun and I even managed to get a good education out of the process. I’m sure my parents were thrilled that their money wasn’t wasted. But the weight loss was not conscious and as such was never going to last.

Post-college I got a good job, moved in with roommates and continued to enjoy myself. The weight slowly started to creep on with lunch and dinners out frequently and drank plenty of wine. Exercise was something that other people did at the company gym. At the ripe old age of 25 I met DH. Like me, he was a smoker and enjoyed food and alcohol. Unlike me, he has basically been the same weight his entire life. We moved into together and I started planning my move to graduate school. A good relationship = packing on the pounds. DH proposed a few months before we moved to Charlottesville. A stressful first year at school coupled with wedding planning meant I lost no weight and probably put on a few more pounds. I did not actively try to lose weight for my wedding. DH loved me, I didn’t think my body was that bad and the wedding dress was already ordered in the appropriate size.

Flash forward to trying to get pregnant in Charlotte. January 2008 I went to the doctor to discuss before we started trying and to get a prescription for Chantix. He suggested that along with quitting smoking I should lose 15-20 pounds before getting pregnant. I joined Weight Watchers*, lost the weight in about 4 months and got pregnant immediately after we started trying. In 2008 Weight Watchers was a diet program for me. I had a goal – lose enough weight that when I got pregnant I wouldn’t be completely enormous. There was nothing I changed about my lifestyle and as soon as I got pregnant eating well went completely out of the window.

I gave myself a year to lose the baby weight but never really did anything about it. So at the end of March 2010 I re-joined Weight Watchers. At first I treated the program the same way…as a diet program. How did things change? Check back in next week for the second in this series. And please share your own struggles and realizations about weight and exercise in the comments section of my blog.

*I am not sponsored by Weight Watchers and am merely a satisfied customer.

Show me the mommy: weight loss update

This week, not only am I playing along with Laura's "Show Me The Mommy" December contest, I thought I would also provide a weight loss update. Here is my last update from October.

It's hard to believe that at the end of March I joined Weight Watchers with the hope that I would lose weight. Scratch that. It wasn't hope, it was an expectation and a willingness to do the program right so that I would be healthier, for me, for DH and for Cameron. It's been almost 9 months and as of my last weigh in, I am down just over 45 pounds. Yup, as my sister Allison would say I've lost an entire child. What would you say, second grader?

I'm toying with the idea of losing another 5 pounds because 50 seems like such a nice round number, don't you think? But technically I just have about 2 pounds to go to hit my personal goal and achieve lifetime member status. I still plan on attended the weekly meetings because they really keep me motivated and on track. Wish me luck going into the holidays! I hope to maintain and not gain but I'm not crazy enough to think that I'll lose weight while up in Massachusetts for the holidays. I'm already looking forward to crabbies (family appetizer) and homemade Christmas cookies and I refuse to not indulge myself.

It's sad that I got myself to the point that I need to lose this much weight. But if you had asked me at the start of this journey if I would make it this far I don't think I would have been confident. So it's nice to be on the other end of things wrapping up my weight loss experience. I still have to work on adding/maintaining exercise. It's fallen by the wayside with my illnesses of the past 3 weeks and I don't see much exercise in the next week and a half while traveling. Hopefully the new year will re-motivate me. Or I can do what my friend, Natalie, does and have people give me encouragement via Facebook to get my butt to the gym.

Show me the mommy!

I was complaining to my husband the other night that despite all my weight loss, I didn't feel like I looked a lot skinnier (he of course assured me that I did and of course that I always looked beautiful regardless - aw!). So I decided to play along with "Show me the mommy" today and dug up a picture from last year's trip to Hilton Head and the one from this year. Holy smokes! I'm glad I did it because I can totally see the difference.

To date (since April) I've lost more than 40 pounds. I'm thisclose to reaching my goal and lifetime member status at Weight Watchers. I still have a ways to go to stay motivated with exercise but I'm glad to have lost the weight I have and know that's it's made me a heck of a lot healthier.

Hilton Head, October 2009

Hilton Head, October 2010

Bright spots

I realize it's been a while since I updated you on my weight loss progress. Last night I achieved a milestone. I have now lost more than 25 pounds. It took a lot longer to lose the latest 10 pounds but I blame vacation for part of that.

While I'm proud of the progress so far I also know that I still have more to go. And I know that I have to be better about exercising. I've let that slip by the wayside for the past few weeks, mostly because I'm lazy and also because there always seems to be something that needs to get done.

My friend Natalie arrives in Charlotte today. The last time she came to visit we ended up buying our Honda Pilot. I'm hoping this visit is a little less expensive! We're going to grill out tonight and then we actually got a babysitter to go out for dinner tomorrow. I think that's a grand total of 3 times we've had a babysitter for Cameron. And I'm even having her come at 6 PM so she can do bedtime. Yes, I'm trying to let go of my need to control! Natalie has promised to take lots of pictures so expect to see a photo post sometime this weekend.

DH got a phone call yesterday from daycare. Cameron was bitten by her "friend" but she was fine. Is it wrong that I was relieved Cameron was the bitee rather than the biter?

Patting myself on the back

As of this week I have lost 15.4 pounds. Not too shabby. My goal is to have lose 20 pounds by our family reunion/vacation. I still have 5 weeks to go so I'm optimistic. I've been doing Weight Watchers for 10 weeks and am trying to be diligent about tracking my points. The flex points come in handy over the weekends or occasional lunch out and I love that I can track everything on my iPhone WW app. I'm not sure what my ultimate goal is for weight loss. I don't think I'll get down to the 115 range that correlates with my height but I'd like to be a size 8 or 10. That way I can shop in any store and be assured of finding my size.

Probably the biggest thing I've learned in this second go around with WW is portion control. I did WW about two years ago prior to getting pregnant. I lost about 15 pounds then and of course packed them back on plus some throughout the pregnancy. I certainly didn't restrain myself with portion control while pregnant! The days of stuffing myself are over. One thing about WW is that it is really a lifetime program. It isn't really a diet because it is more about teaching you how to eat properly. A skill that I will have to use for the rest of my life. My current struggle is that I still think of it like a "diet" with the implication that I can go back to usual (well, not all the way!) and I need to readjust my mindset. I hope I'll get there soon!

I have also started exercising. I loath exercising. I really, really do. But I've started swimming with our membership in the JCC and it doesn't really feel like exercise to me. I managed to get in laps Friday, Saturday and today which is great. One of the things I like about swimming is that it is just me with my thoughts. No music, TV or other distractions. You'd think I would have a lot more blog posts as a result but alas I usually go the mundane route and think about work or the list of chores piling up. The JCC has daycare so I can bring Cameron with me if DH has work to do around the house. There is a wide age range in the kids using the babysitting room and Cameron loves interacting with the older kids. She was so happy there she didn't want to leave today.

Along with the weight reduction I finally broke down and went to Macy's to spend far too much money on a new bra. And I love it! Embarrassingly I have been wearing my nursing bras for the past 15 months even though I stopped pumping when Cameron was 6 months old. My sister asked me to borrow them so it motivated me to hit the mall. Two different women recommended the same bra when I mentioned I needed to get a new one: Wacoal. Macy's only had one in my size (damn you DDs!) so I plan on picking up another one online. I much prefer shopping online anyway and will just get the same style in a different color. I swear that my "girls" have never looked perkier. This bra really does lift and separate. Sure $60 is a little steep but a boob lift would be even more. At least that's what I told DH. He's just happy that my cup size didn't go down. Men.