Starting up toddler discipline

It’s time for DH and me to bite the bullet and start disciplining Cameron. I would have preferred to wait until she was a little older and just use the tried and true method of redirection until then but then this week happened.

On Sunday I had a lovely play date with my friend Amanda and her son Holden. It was so cute to see how excited Holden was by Charlie and he was constantly petting the dog. So that part went well. What didn’t go well was when Cameron decided anything Holden had she needed RIGHT THEN and WITH FORCE. There was toy grabbing, pushing and a couple of close calls with biting. I don’t mind if Cameron stands up for herself but being a bully is not something I want to encourage and I don’t think that redirection and/or ignoring her is cutting it.

Monday we got a sad face on Cameron’s daily daycare report and a note telling us that she was very aggressive with her friends, pushing and grabbing toys. Tuesday was a repeat. I spoke with her main teacher who told me that occasionally she will put Cameron in a crib if she is being too aggressive but only if she (the teacher) was changing diapers and couldn’t intervene directly. Her teacher assured me that it is a phase and she sees it all the time, especially with bright children. While appreciate the stroke to my parenting ego I can’t just let this go. Cameron was also pushy with her cousins on vacation so this has been a phase for more than a few weeks and I worry about it morphing into habitual behavior.

There are a few things running through my mind:

• Is this because Cameron is an only child and doesn’t have to share her toys at home? Well, she has to share at school and we have fairly regular play dates and outings to the splash park so I don’t think that is really the right question. Although perhaps I could use it as an argument to convince DH to have another?
• Is this because Cameron is the oldest child in her room (by a few months)? This one carries a little more weight with me. Cameron needs to learn her limits from other kids, not just adults. But as the oldest by a few months she is a lot bigger, faster and naturally more aggressive. The challenge is that she won’t move up to the next room until 18 months so we have at least another 2 months of this to manage/correct until then. And of course once she starts to Transition you KNOW that I will have other issues…ah, the joys of parenting!
• Do we really need to start formal disciplining with a toddler? I’m not opposed to this but I’m looking for experiences from my readers about time outs, good discipline/parenting books about toddlers and even general empathy. Please reassure me that my child is not going to turn out to be a sociopath!!

Playgroups are for mommies too

Over the past two weeks Cameron has had two play dates, one of which we hosted. It has been wonderful to meet other moms and talk about babies. Nothing but babies. I need to get it out of my system now so that when I return to work I don't bore my co-workers with details about Cameron's sleeping or pooping schedule. And that's one of the awesome things about the playgroups. I am never bored with hearing about other mom's issues with their children or their developmental milestones. I may not remember everything they tell me but I don't mind asking again and again. And of course talking about my own perfect angel!

Mommy, Esq. and A. are great at indulging me as I natter on and on over the phone about how many times Cameron got up the night before but nothing beats talking with other moms in person. And seeing their babies as they all hang out on the blankets or play mats. It's also a great opportunity for me to make friends. I am now helping to run the infant playgroup that meets every other Saturday. I'm very excited to continue this as I return to work. What have other moms (or dads!) done to stay connected with other parents? Will this obsession with talking about Cameron actually fade when I return to work? Experience with Mommy, Esq. and others makes me think not!

Cameron is starting to smile more often but still seems to prefer saving them for Daddy and her Aquarium bouncer. Jealous of a bouncer!

This picture is just because she's so beautiful! Cameron watches the older babies enjoy tummy time. I hope it inspires her!Cameron is surrounded by her two boyfriends, Holden and Gabe.

A slave to the clock

Cameron and I have had a lovely weekend. DH has had a dirty one as he is trying to fix a drainage issue we have with the garage and it involves a lot of digging. We were given a ridiculous minimum quote so our Puritan souls shriveled and DH decided to try it on his own. I'll update the blog with the results. Fortunately it is nothing serious so the work doesn't have to be completed immediately.

On Saturday Cameron and I went to Amanda's for a play date. Cameron ruined her two nights of uninterrupted sleep with 3 AM wake up calls for Mommy. I guess I was right that the sleeping through the night was a fluke. I took advantage of a break in DH's work to run to Babies 'R Us and then to get a manicure and pedicure. It took about 3 hours total and I felt guilty for taking the time. What is wrong with me?!? Plus I was annoyed because it takes so long to get to Babies 'R Us (why are they always placed so far away?) and I had to go there for the product for which I refused to pay $5 extra dollars in shipping costs.

So what is this post really about? Well, the title says it all. When I leave Cameron at home I feel like I'm always rushing to make sure I'm back in time before she wakes up from her nap. Or her next feeding. DH is always willing to step in but with breastfeeding, that isn't always possible. Plus I'm having trouble letting go. What if he doesn't recognize the signs that she is getting sleepy and she gets overtired? Will he know to put her in her swing for a while and then in her crib? Can he move her just as gently as I can so she doesn't even stir on transfer? It's not that DH isn't competent. Far from it. It's that I spend basically every minute of her waking life with Cameron and probably know her better than myself at this point. And because I know her schedule so well I just assume DH does too. But I'm trying to let it go...I promise!

I have to let it go because Cameron isn't a very portable infant. It is very hard to bring Cameron out with me for any longer than an hour and a half. Maximum. She is completely on a schedule which is great but makes me feel terrible if I'm out and she gets fussy because she's ready for a nap. There isn't much I can get done in 90 minutes. And usually I only have 60 minutes. Even when I'm home I still constantly watch the clock. It's weird that I haven't been wearing a wrist watch but between clocks in the house, on my phone and on my computer I usually know exactly what time it is. And more importantly how much time until her next feeding or nap! Even worse is when I write the date down for my milk storage bags every day. I feel the days slipping away until I return to work (sniff, sniff).

Have other moms experienced this slavish devotion to timekeeping? Does it get better in a couple of months or not until Cameron is much older?

Cameron hosts her first play date

Yesterday we hosted our very first play date. 5 moms, two dads and two dogs joined us for an afternoon of fun, food, poop and a little crying. No, not the dads! This play group was organized by one of the members of the New Moms of South Charlotte and we plan on meeting every other weekend. It's perfect because a few of us will be returning to work and most of the play dates through the NMSC group are during the week.

Both Cameron and Charlie were worn out by their respective playmates and DH and I had a nice quiet night.

What's great about these events is it's a chance for us to ask each other questions. I demonstrated the swaddling technique I'm now using and we talked a lot about sleeping and feeding. One woman joked that it's impossible to go 5 minutes without saying the word boob when you have an infant. Totally true. I'm already looking forward to the next play date in two weeks!

I made sure that Cameron had a nice long nap before everyone arrived. Here is a picture of her stretching. Aren't baby stretches the cutest thing?

Here is a picture of three of the tykes awake and "playing" with each other. I'm sure they will graduate to drooling on each other soon enough.
I hosted the event in our library and there was plenty of room for the 6 of us.

You know a good time is had by all based on the number of dirty diapers!