Toddler development and ongoing challenges

I know I’ve been bad at blogging lately filling the void with a lot of picture posts and not much content. But now that I’m back on my feet post-strep throat fiasco I thought it was time for a sharing of our current Cameron challenges. At 20 months old we are still struggling with hitting and biting. She is very good about not hitting and biting other kids. Mommy? Not so much. If DH or I deny her anything it’s a wide open mouth going for the chomp on an arm or a leg. Heck, sometimes even a boob! We’ve tried 1-2-3 with timeouts, yelling, ignoring, you name it, we’ve tried it. Except hitting or biting back of course. I’m just going to keep hoping this is a phase. It is a phase right? Just a long one?

Cameron and we are still addicted to the pacifier and I have no plans to remove it anytime soon. DH and I were both finger suckers. And I find that when Cameron doesn’t have her pacifier she sticks her hands in her mouth. We are trying to limit pacifier time to right before bed and only in the car and in the crib. Unfortunately that fell completely by the wayside during Thanksgiving (4 days of whining was enough to give plenty of lollypops and pacifiers) and my illness/DH’s travel. I feel some guilt for still having the reliance on the pacifier but I figure how many college students bring a pacifier with them to campus? Right? The problem is that Cameron now says “paci” and asks for it constantly. She’ll usually put a “please” after it which totally melts my heart. DH and I are trying to stand firm on limiting the paci time so please send us good thoughts.

Cameron still sleeps great for the most part. Usually she only cries when she has had a nightmare or is sick. Our biggest challenge in the sleep area has been keeping her warm enough. We bought a big fleece blanket to put in her crib and have done away with the sleep sacks. Cameron isn’t a big climber (watch me jinx us) so I’m not too worried about her climbing out of her crib. We have her in fleece footsie PJs and she won’t keep the blanket over her. Her feet are a little cold in the morning so perhaps I need to bite the bullet and order new fleece sleep sacks? Would it be a safety issue to use our little space heater?

Our biggest challenge by far has been eating. Cameron will usually eat whatever daycare serves but with us? No way, no how. We seriously serve the same meal every night for her. Fish sticks or chicken nuggets, some kind of potato (usually tots), green beans (occasionally carrots) and fruit. Sometimes she is gracious and will eat Annie O’s but only the plain O’s, nothing else. I think part of the problem is that she eats before us. But I don’t see that changing any time soon as she goes to bed by 7 PM. When I was sick I gave her pasta and had some with her but she wanted nothing to do with it. Should I just go ahead and serve her something and attempt to not worry when she eats nothing? Will she wake up hungry in the middle of the night? Or start waking up at 5:30 AM instead of 6:30? What is a parent to do??? Yes, I have food issues so nothing stresses me out more than not having Cameron eat.

DH and I guesstimate that Cameron knows as many as 100 words. It’s a very rough guesstimate. She says words back to us very clearly and now says Mommy and Daddy instead of Mama and Dada. Our problem is when Cameron initiates a conversation with us. 75% of the time we have no idea what she is saying. At this age they just don’t enunciate very clearly so most of the words sound the same. I’ve been trying the old, “Show me what you want” trick but Cameron usually just looks at me like I’m an idiot and just repeats herself. We’ll get there, I know, and when we do I’ll be lamenting the fact that I ever complained about not understanding her.

Finally TV watching and toilet training are non-existent at this point. What I wouldn’t give for Cameron to be interested in some TV for even five minutes at a time!! She has zero interest in it which makes it hard to get her dinner ready or small chores completed. Every time I try to duck into the kitchen there she is tugging on my pant leg whining, “Up, up”. Sometimes Mommy needs 5 minutes of alone time! That used to be bathroom time but we are attempted to indoctrinate Cameron into the wonders of toilets so she visits the bathroom with me. Not that it’s resulted in success. This weekend she said, “diaper” and DH checked it but it was fine. Two minutes later she said “diaper” again and there was poop! We were all excited at this signal and started running her to the potty whenever she said diaper. Biggest waste of time ever. If there was even one pee success I’d keep going but the taking off the diaper, trying to get her to sit still and then getting her dressed again is taking too much time and effort. So potty training won’t really get started until well after she turns two.

Parent’s of other toddlers, what else are you struggling with at this age?

The future of sleep

I'm about to invite the karma gods to rain down on my head but I have a not-so-secret confession to make: Cameron is an excellent sleeper. How exactly did we arrive at a 14 month old who sleeps 12+ hours a night? Let me share my secrets:

• I tracked her sleep/wake/fussy patterns starting at 8 weeks old for about a month. This allowed me to visually understand her patterns and be able to adjust her feeding/nap schedule appropriately.
• Swaddling. We swaddled for about 6 months until we started CIO. The super swaddle was the only thing that allowed us to keep her in a burrito shape.
• Consistent bedtime. Need I say more? Cameron is in bed between 6:30-7 PM depending on how well she naps at school. We also have a consistent routine with bathing every other night, music, book and bed.
• We did CIO when Cameron was 6 months old. I know that some people don't like CIO for various reasons but I am convinced it was a key step in teaching her how to fall back asleep on her own.
• Medicate early and often. I can count on one hand the number of times we've had to console Cameron during the night and they all point to illness or teething. Motrin is my friend and if there are signs of teething I will give her some before bed. I don't want to be in pain so I assume she doesn't either!
• Good naps. It's totally true. A good napper is a good night time sleeper. We have irregularly gone down to one nap a day (always at daycare but sometimes on the weekend). She spends that nap in her crib with the shades and curtains drawn and the fan and humidifier on. I'm a light sleeper so I always assume everyone else is too. The white noise helps ensure a 2+ hour nap.
• Read, read, read. I searched other people's blogs, I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and I posed questions via my own blog for advice. I didn't have to experiment with many techniques, fortunately. CIO worked for us in about 4 days. I also felt no major guilt over CIO. I know my mom did it with us (how could you not with triplets?!?) and I love to sleep.
• Genetics. See above. I love to sleep. I can nap and still go to bed at the same time. This must play a roll in my child's capacity for sleep.

I am curious about how long our luck will hold out. I plan on keeping Cameron in a sleep sack until she can't fit in it any more to avoid attempts to climb out of her crib. Thanks to Goddess In Progress for that suggestion. I'm sure once we transition her into a "big girl" bed that sleep interruptions will be more frequent.

As your kids have gotten older did you find that their sleeping patterns changed drastically? Any particular stages for us to be aware of? In July Cameron will be sharing a room with her almost two year old cousins. They are twins and hence used to noise from each other during the night. I am a bit worried that Cameron will wake up more frequently and not be able to fall back to sleep. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Crap, guess it's time to start really parenting

I picked up Cameron from daycare on Tuesday and got to talk with her main teacher Miss Melba for a few minutes. In that time I learned two things:

1. For the third week in a row Cameron has consistently only been "resting" in her crib for her morning nap;
2. She screams and screeches if she isn't fed her meals or snacks first

The first one I can handle. I've been toying with the idea of bringing her down to one nap for a while. I've been resisting because she still sleeps 2-3 hours in the morning and another 1.5-2 hours in the afternoon on the weekends. But going down to one nap will allow us more flexibility in our day, a good thing now that we have joined a local community center. Cameron has also been extremely tired in the evenings which has pushed her bedtime up to 6:30 PM. Now that I will be commuting from uptown (with a daycare drop off in the opposite direction) I probably won't get home until 6 PM. It would be nice if we can put her down at 7:00 PM instead. I'm hopeful that Miss Melba speaks truly and by eliminating the morning "resting" period Cameron will sleep 2+ hours in the afternoon. As it stands now, she just sleeps for an hour which is not enough and hence the 6:30 PM bedtime. Please speak up if you have any advice about going down to one nap. Also, has anyone maintained a one nap schedule in daycare but two at home successfully?

It's the second item on the list that has concerned and caused me to run out to buy a book recommended by Laura, "Your One Year Old: The Fun Loving, Fussy 12-To-24 Month Old." OK, maybe I snuck in a few books for me with the order but hey, that way I qualified for free super shipping :-)

I've noticed that Cameron has definitely entered the feisty, fussy stage, especially when it comes to food. Part of it is our fault. We will give her some green beans or fruit while waiting for the rest of her dinner to heat up and cool down enough for her to eat. That means she is receiving her meal in piecemeal fashion which causes her to screech when she sees stuff she didn't like and not stuff she does. As of three nights ago we are now making an effort to get her food ready in its entirety before giving it to her. Then when she starts screeching and throwing her food, she is "all done" and down she comes. I still hate that she doesn't eat much in the evenings so we are still using the evening bottle as a crutch. I expect that to be phased out by the end of the month at the latest. She is still getting her molars in so I don't want to push it. Honest question for my readers, "How long did you/will you give your child a bottle?" I figure if Suri Cruise still has one at 3 years old I'm OK with phasing it out around month 14.

Basically what it comes down to is that I don't want a wild child. I don't think that Miss Melba related Cameron's mannerism as a reproach to me (or wait, maybe she did???) but I did see it as an area that we should be working on with Cameron. Especially if she ends up being an only child she will need to learn how to share. I guess part of me hoped that daycare would help with that (and it will) but we need to be doing things at home to reinforce it as well. Full honesty here: I also don't feel quite ready to really parent, you know what I mean? Toddlerhood may have more sleep for me but it certainly has it's own stressors, doesn't it? I'll let you know what I think about the book but as always, any and all advice or commiseration is welcome!

Current Cameron challenges

We really are in a wonderful stage so don't let the title of this post fool you! But like all parents, nothing is ever perfect. First of all, diarrhea was the name of the game with the antibiotic she has been on for the double ear infection. What did that result in? A truly terrible case of diaper rash. Cameron has had very slight cases over the last 10 months but this....this defies words. It it everywhere. And it's not just red, it is truly a rash with the bumps and the swelling. Poor thing. She has been tolerating it well but aside from putting diaper rash cream on every day, is there something else you would recommend?

Another challenge with Cameron is her lack of napping at daycare. Yes, I know I sound like a broken record but it is starting to really impact our evening time. Cameron has usually been napping just once a day and an hour isn't enough. On the weekends she sleeps 2 hours in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. 1/5 of her normal time is miserable for her, me and DH. DH whisks her home and put her right to bed, usually around 4:30 PM. Cameron sleeps for an hour and I go wake her up. Wake a sleeping baby? Damn right. I refuse to impact her 7 PM bedtime. I need downtime too! Cameron is clingy and whiny and doesn't want to eat anything other than her bottle, fruit and goldfish. If I leave the room for a minute she starts full on bawling. It's distressing. Any advice?

Cameron is also going through a big mommy phase. I am trying to mitigate it as much as possible by passing her off to DH but it's harder in the evenings because of how tired and cranky she is. Has anyone successfully managed the mommy phases? I at least don't want her to cry when passing her off!

Lastly we are starting to see the refusal and throwing of food off the highchair tray. I put some pasta down in front of Cameron the other day and she picked up the entire clump and threw it right down. I'll also see her sneak her hand down next to her side to drop other pieces of food onto the chair itself. Smart, crafty little girl. I read Child of Mine and want to adhere to its recommendations that I as the parent provide the food and it is up to Cameron to eat. But I totally cave because I hate to see her eat nothing for dinner which is oftentimes what would happen if I didn't put out more Cameron friendly food. How have other parents handled this? Keep in mind she's only 11 months....is it really time to start those food battles?

Cure for the snoring blues?

DH and I are normally very compatible sleepers. We both enjoy quiet (no TV in our room!), a little on the chilly side and of course, Charlie snuggled right between us. Unfortunately that quiet has been broken by the loud sound of snoring.

It all started about a month ago when Cameron, DH and I all got sick in a row. DH was miserable and I got tired of telling him to roll over and stop snoring. I am an extraordinarily light sleeper so as soon as he started I would wake up. Pure torture. So one night at about 2 AM I went into the guest room, drew the blinds and slept wonderfully.

Fast forward a few more weeks and now I am the one torturing DH with the dulcet tones of my snores. For a few nights it didn't wake him until 4 or 5 AM. He did what he usually does and decided to just get up for the day. Crazy, isn't he? I mean, I have no problem falling back to sleep at any point during the night/morning. Even if it is 5 minutes before I'm supposed to get up!

This weekend was particularly bad as I continued with congestion. DH ended up retreating to the guest room twice. Finally last night I told him that I would just sleep in the guest room from the get go so that we could both get some decent sleep. And it was heavenly! No DH telling me to roll over a hundred times in a row. No loud snores from me to wake him up and cause him to lie there fuming. And if I were him, I'd totally be fuming.

So, has anyone else experienced this situation in your marriage or relationships? What did you do to conquer the snoring blues? Will DH and I be destined to sleep apart several nights a week just to get sleep?

Dropping the third nap

For the new year DH and I decided to change things up when it comes to pick up/drop off at daycare. For the past 6 months I had primarily done pick up and he got the AM drop off. What that meant for me was I rushed to get to work by 7:30 AM so I could leave by 4:30 PM, get Cameron and get her down by 5 PM for a 30 minute third nap. If I was lucky and hit mostly green lights I could do it. On the weekends Cameron rarely needs a third nap but that's because her AM and PM naps are so much longer than they are at daycare.

The problem with our original schedule is that it gave me zero flexibility. DH works from home so I'd get Cameron home and put her down for a nap and he could keep working until 6 if needed. On my end I'd have to boot up my computer or keep checking my Blackberry. Additionally BigFinance rarely has meetings before 8 AM but more after 5 PM to accommodate the West Coast workers.

With bonus discussions right around the corner I've started being the primary parent for drop off and DH will do pick up. A little later face time in the office never hurts! Fortunately we both have flexibility in our calendars so if DH has a meeting in the late afternoon I can pick her up and vice versa. For drop off I like that I can peruse the daily menu and list the foods I'd like Cameron to try. I don't like how rushed I feel or the fact that she's started crying if I don't just plop her down and take off. Any lingering could result in a breakdown. I also don't like that I can't ask about her day. And let's be honest, how many fathers are good at asking lots of questions?

Somehow this post went off on a tangent about drop off/pick up but what I really wanted to write about is the third nap. So getting back on topic....Monday DH was a little late getting Cameron so by the time she got home it was almost 5:30 PM. Too late, in my opinion, for a third nap. We usually put her down for the night by 6:45 PM so I figured by moving it back to 6:30 PM we would be OK. And for the most part we were. Cameron was a little fussy but as long as I gave her my complete, undivided attention for the hour before bed she was reasonable happy. I'm just not sure I'm ready to have her drop that third nap permanently. So for the other parents out there when did your kids stop taking that third nap? Was it a gradual extinction or a planned deadline?

Also, how did you decide who does pick up or drop off in your household when both parents work? Did it change over time as your little one(s) got older?

Putting my foot down about nap time

This morning DH and I shared drop off duties for Cameron. I really like this part of the week because usually it is the only time that I get to see Cameron's main teacher, Miss Tanya, who has usually left for the day when I come in to pick her up. Sometimes I send DH in with instructions for Tanya but hey, I'm a mom and I like to talk with Cameron's other primary caregiver too.

Of course Miss Tanya sees me coming and probably wants to hide because I usually do have questions or instructions related to Cameron's care. I can't help it. I know my baby best and I still have residual concerns about having her in a facility with 9 other infants and a 5:1 infant to teacher ratio.

DH and I entered the room and he went off to take Cameron out of her carrier and get her settled. I puttered around putting her bottles in the fridge and new diapers in her cubby. Miss Tanya was changing one of the other babies. We exchanged general pleasantries and then I launched into my question:

Me: Now that Cameron is six months old, do you start putting her down on a nap schedule?
Miss Tanya: Well, usually they just fall into it on their own.
Me: Obviously that isn't the case for Cameron [forced smile]. She naps on a schedule at home but doesn't here. [side note - she slept only 40 minutes at daycare on Wednesday. 40 minutes!]
Miss Tanya: What time do you put her down?
Me: It depends on when she wakes up but her first nap is within 2 hours of her waking up. She was awake at 6 AM so no later than 8:30 AM.
Miss Tanya: That's right around feeding time.
Me, in my head: So freaking what? Can't you put her in her crib for a nap while you are feeding the other kids? And what, you have a feeding schedule but not a nap schedule????
Me: Well, I guess no later than 9 AM then.

Perhaps not the most forceful of conversations but I hope I got my point across. This all came about because I had lunch with my friend Amanda and shared my concerns about Cameron's lack of napping. No other child seems to have issues. Isn't it great to have friends where you can share the details of your baby's life and get interested responses? I mentioned that they let her fall asleep first and then move her to her crib. Is it any wonder that Cameron wakes up and doesn't want to nap?

DH, of course, mentally rolled his eyes when I talked with him about this. He figures it's not a big deal. But it totally is! If she sleeps for me then she should be sleeping at daycare too. The teachers just need to do a better job of putting her down consistently. Sure she may cry for a while but 40 minutes of naps a day isn't going to cut it. So, what do you all think? Am I overreacting or do I need to stay on top of this? Have you run into this issue before and how did you address it with your daycare?

Time to start saving for those braces

Apparently I picked the worst time ever to do cry it out with Cameron. She has been fighting a cold and teething. My excuse? I only knew about the cold. Yup, last night I discovered that Cameron has her first tooth! I let her suck on my finger and there it was. A teeny, tiny tooth just poking out from her gums.

I have mentioned in a few other posts about the dramatic reduction in Cameron's ounces. Turns out that part of the reason was due to teething. She had a much better day yesterday with 24 ounces. I guess once that tooth popped through she felt much better and wanted to eat again.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not that we didn't have much sign that Cameron was teething. I did suspect that something was up and gave her some Motrin for the last two nights. But she didn't chew on things more frequently or start drooling more than normal. She only woke up once a night smooshed up against her crib railing and needing a little rescue. Nothing that would indicate that my baby is now sporting a single bottom tooth.

I guess DH and I are just blessed with a happy, healthy baby who isn't bothered by little things like teething or ear infections. And here's hoping I didn't just curse us by writing that down! Cameron continues her trend of being perfectly average with her first tooth just after she passed the six month mark. I wonder how quickly it's mate will pop in?

Starting to see some success

While CIO hasn't been a raging success, it has been getting better. This weekend was a big challenge because it is the first time Cameron would go down for naps without being swaddled. Now, this isn't quite true. Daycare did a crappy job of swaddling her so basically she wasn't swaddled for her naps there. But in our house she was a baby burrito. Cameron did pretty well. She napped 60-90 minutes at a stretch three times each day. There wasn't any crying because she was definitely tired and a couple minutes of rocking later she was out like a light.

Other than naps I did have to go in and rock her back to sleep on Saturday night. She was inconsolable and I just couldn't stay away. DH did a pacifier insertion at 3 AM last night. When I scolded him and said it wasn't in the spirit of CIO he responded, "One trip to her room? That's nothing! She went 8 hours. That's great!" True, DH, true. Let's just hope it doesn't start being 2-3 times a night. Cause then we're starting all over again!

Per usual I have been remiss in posting photos. Cameron has lots of cute clothes that are much more appropriate for the cooler weather. So even though we aren't quite in her new 6-9 month clothes I've been able to dress her up in stuff that's new for us.

Cameron practices her mischievous look.

Wearing a hoodie. DH is so proud!
Cameron is always happy when she gets to spend lots of time with Mommy and Daddy.

Staying strong with a pillow over my head

Cry it out has been challenging. Night Two was about on par with Night One except for one thing: Cameron has a cold. I gave her a bit of Benadryl to alleviate her congestion and needless to say, she slept great for the first few hours. But then between the hours of 3 AM and 6:30 AM she was up off and on. I gritted my teeth and pulled my pillow over my head. After all, it wouldn't be good if we were both exhausted by CIO, right? And that's where I'm really struggling. My poor baby is definitely tired. She used to greet me every morning wreathed in smiles. Now she cries until I can pop her bottle in. And she cries a lot more easily in the evenings. I know it's because she is a little sick and very tired but it just breaks my heart.

But I am two nights in and I refuse to back down, dammit! I've told DH that he will need to bring a second pillow into his sleeping arrangement so he can stay strong as well. I'm hopeful we will have a breakthrough by this weekend. I'm giving it a week and if she is still miserable I will reassess and consider re instituting the swaddle. So please send good, soothing thoughts our way as we tackle Night Three (with Daddy!) tonight.

Taking the bull by the horns

DH is traveling this week so I decided it was the perfect time to start the cry it out process with Cameron. Yes, I thought it would be best if DH isn't around for the initial painfulness. What prompted this apparent show of altruism? DH is a complete wimp when it comes to Cameron crying. I knew it would require firm resolve to be successful. But my husband is a wet noodle when it comes to his baby crying. So really we were all better off with me starting the process on my own.

For the past couple of weeks Cameron has woken anywhere from 3-4 times a night and required one of us to get up and do a pacifier insertion. That's our technical term for it. Pacifier insertion almost sounds a little dirty, doesn't it? At six months old, it was time to un-swaddle Cameron and give her the tools to sooth herself. That little bit of wisdom actually came from A. So thanks, A!

Last night the great experiment went pretty well. I put Cameron down per usual and went downstairs to pour myself a honking big glass of wine and watch some TV. Those are MY coping mechanisms. I kept the monitor down to the lowest setting. I didn't want to turn it off completely because I told myself that if she cried for more than 30 minutes I would go up and give her a pacifier. I couldn't bring myself to commit to a complete extinction process. For those who aren't as familiar with Weissbluth that basically means you don't go in for any reason and let your child be alone for the entire night without comforting. Cameron has never been more riled up by us going in and re-swaddling or pacify-ing her so I ruled out a complete extinction.

About 30 minutes after she went down Cameron started crying. It's interesting because when she was swaddled she wouldn't start fussing until after midnight at the earliest. But not having her limbs contained appears to to have woken her up. And so the crying began. I followed Weissbluth's advice and actually looked at the clock and made a note of the time. Twelve minutes or so of crying and she was quite. 30 minutes later she started again. This time it only lasted for 10 minutes. I clung to this little bit of progress as a sign that CIO would work.

I went to bed around 10 PM. I left the monitor off and kept my door cracked. I knew that if she cried my mommy ears would pick up on it, even through her closed door. Probably 5-6 times during the night I heard her cry. It was usually for less than a minute and more of a whimper than a cry. I resolutely put the pillow over my head and went back to sleep. And so did Cameron. The hardest part was when I went in to wake her up at 6:30 AM. She was snoring away on her stomach (never done that before!) and her face was covered in dried snot. Poor thing. I think Cameron has a bit of a cold coupled with more crying than she's ever done before. I woke her up and she started crying a little bit. Now that was depressing. Normally Cameron greets us with lots of smiles. But I cleaned off her face and she sucked down her morning bottle and she was back to normal.

Night One was pretty successful but I hear Night Two is worse. We'll see. In the meantime I would love to hear about others' experiences with CIO. Did it work for you? How long did it take? How about naps? Part of the reason I am not doing CIO over a weekend is because I'm not sure I can deal with naps yet.

The green monster strikes

Yesterday DH and I went together to pick up Cameron from school. She was chillin' on a Boppy when we arrived and was all smiles when we greeted her. While DH puttered around pulling her stuff together and putting her in the car seat I chatted with her teacher who was changing one of the other babies. Miss Tanya commented on the poop smell not being from her current charge so I picked up one of the other babies for a sniff test. Cameron saw me and immediately started crying. She often cries a bit when I pick her up from school if I walk away and she can't see me. She is usually tired at this point and ready for a final nap. But I was in her line of sight, as was DH. The only explanation we could come up with was that she was jealous. Cameron did not want her mommy holding another baby. Cute, but I'm sure it could get old quickly.

Speaking of always needing her mommy...Cameron has decided that I am the only person she will take her bedtime bottle from. DH has been a trooper but she will cry and fuss while he gives it to her. He'll put her down, walk away and then come back. It usually takes him several tries and even then she won't finish the bottle. I end up having to go back in (bad form I know!) and get her to drink the rest. I would normally not bother but Cameron is more likely to wake up in the middle of the night if she doesn't drink all her bottle. She better snap out of it because Mommy wants to enjoy her vacation too! Plus my mom will be watching her for two nights while DH and I attend a wedding.

Any advice on how to get Cameron to take her nighttime bottle from someone other than me without all the hooting and hollering?

I'm OK with keeping her at this stage forever

When we took Cameron in for her four month doctor's appointment her pediatrician commented on how much fun the 4-9 month stage is. Think of all the pluses it has going for it: start sleeping through the night, nap consolidation, longer alert periods, no teething (yet), and still not mobile. Throw in lots of smiles and laughter and you have for one fun infant.

This weekend was the first we experienced the consolidation of naps. And it made a huge difference in how I was able to spend my day. We are leaving for a vacation next weekend so I had lots and lots of errands to get done while DH took care of some much needed yard work. Cameron has started taking a 2 - 2 1/2 hour morning nap, a 15 minute snooze in her carriage while running errands and a 3+ hour nap in the afternoon. Amazing! Of course I have no hope that she will replicate it at school. Sigh.

She has coupled this with refusing to nurse except for morning and occasional evenings. I was sweating it in the beginning but quickly tired of fighting to latch her on. So now she gets bottles and I pump while I can. This gives me added flexibility of a bottle on the go and for DH to pitch in more with feedings. Liberating! This bodes very well for our two (!) week vacation.

I realize I have been remiss in posting some Cameron pictures so enjoy!

Cameron sports a mini mohawk after her bath.

Cameron is so close to rolling over!
Cameron loves it when Daddy plays with her.

Look at those big beautiful blue eyes. She can thank her Daddy for those.

About a dozen toys but Cameron would prefer to play with her Taggies onesie.

Losing the battle of the bottle

This weekend was a bit of a turning point for me in feeding Cameron. DH and I went together to drop off Cameron at school on Friday morning. I work from home most Fridays and it's a nice ritual for us to go together. Plus I wouldn't get to interact with her main teacher unless I had at least one drop off. Miss Tanya works 6 AM - 3 PM shift and I usually do pick up.

I really wanted to talk with Miss Tanya (these Southerners LOVE their "Miss" and "Mister" in front of first names!) because I have become very concerned with Cameron's napping. Or rather I should say her lack of napping. One day I picked her up and she had only slept 50 minutes. 50 minutes! This is from a girl who naps 5 hours a day on the weekend! Grrrr. Anyway, Miss Tanya assured me that they were trying to put Cameron down and swaddled her and rocked her but she just won't sleep. Apparently she will lie in her crib for some "quiet time" but 50% of the time she won't fall asleep. I guess I'll worry about it more if she stops napping for me.

I was also assured that she never cries except when she has been reaching the end of her 4 ounce bottle. It was like a dagger to the heart, people! I have been starving my child. OK, dramatics over. So I have upped her bottles to 5 ounces (3 bottles total at school). And she has been drinking every single drop. What does that mean for me? That she is much less interested in the boob.

Weekdays are fine because I just nurse her twice: wake up and evening. She's always had a final bottle before bed and I'm not messing with that because for 6 nights now she's slept through the night. Damn, I probably shouldn't have written that in case Cameron reads this blog. I pump 3x times and get about 12-13 ounces total. Doing the math I need 19 ounces for school and final bottle leaving me with -6. I have plenty of stored milk that I'm leveraging but that will probably be gone by the time she is six months old.

The bigger problem is that on the weekends Cameron doesn't want to nurse exclusively. She wants the bottle. It gives her more and she works less to get it. And really, who can blame her? I can probably get in an extra nursing session but she'll still want bottles. So it becomes the worst of both worlds. I (or DH) have to give Cameron a bottle and then pump. Basically I'll be doing twice as much work. Is this sustainable? Hell, no. I am considering dropping all pumping once she hits 6 months and nursing 2x and supplementing with formula. But we'll see. Maybe I'll be a glutton for punishment and continue. Plus despite being able to provide only breast milk for 6 months I will still feel like a failure for not making it to a year. I swear this is why women should have a year of maternity leave. It is so damn hard to make breastfeeding work if you work full time. And if WHO and other organizations recommend a year then we really need a year of maternity leave. OK, getting off my soap box.

A couple of questions for my readers. How do I introduce formula? Is it better to mix it with breast milk or just give an entire bottle of it? DH thinks Cameron won't like the taste of formula because she has only ever had breast milk. Is that possible? Will the mixing help with that?

Channeling infant sleep patterns

To quote Alanis Morrisette, "Isn't it ironic?" Yes, despite having an almost 4 month old, I appear to be the one with sleeping problems. I have no problems falling asleep, it's staying asleep that poses the biggest challenge. I hear DH breathing away next to me and want to kill him. Even the dog is better at going back to sleep than me!

Up until last night I would wake up at every little Cameron sound and stay away for at least 10 minutes at a time. What changed last night? I decided that we would no longer have the volume turned way up on the monitor. Like so many other parents I felt like if the monitor wasn't loud I would miss something critical. But I slept so much better at a lower volume I had DH mark the dial so we could come back to that very spot. Oddly the monitor we use* doesn't have numbers on the dial so it's basically guess work unless you MacGyver it like we did.

And thus I have conquered the waking-up-at-every-little-noise-that-Cameron-makes problem. What I am still struggling with is falling back to sleep after I feed her in the middle of the night. Yes, our great experiment of trying to get Cameron to sleep through the night has failed. Don't snicker. We are naive first time parents. I have to time her middle of the night feeding so that she is hungry again around 6:30 AM or we are both out of whack. I've been forcing myself to get up around 2:30 or 3 AM and feeding her whether she is awake or not. It takes about 15 minutes and then I stumble back to bed only to lie awake for an hour or so. And that hour of sleep is so, so precious. I'm not that tired during the day (good) but find it very hard to get out of bed in the morning (bad) when I need to.

What have others done to fall back to sleep after you wake up? I've tried thinking about work hoping that obsessing about the placement of optical circuits would bore me back to sleep. No such luck. I've planned my dream house (two words: butler's pantry) and how I would spend my lottery winnings. All failures. Help!

*I don't recommend the monitor we purchased. The battery life is pretty poor and after about 2 months we had to start keeping it plugged in over night or we would be woken up with a loud beeping telling us it was dying. That was fun. Also, the monitors are very sensitive to other electronic equipment and we get a lot of feedback.

It must be done

This morning I decided Cameron will start sleeping through the night. Whether she agrees or not will be determined. Here's the thing. I don't mind getting up for a middle of the night feeding. But what it has become is more of an early morning feeding. 3:30 or 4 AM. I feed her, she goes back to sleep and I wake her up around 6:45 for another feeding before I leave. The problem? She doesn't really eat at that second feeding. She eats off one side for about 8 minutes and then usually spits up 1/2 of it. Then what happens is she wants her bottle at daycare earlier than normal and it cascades throughout the day.

I wouldn't even mind that if not for the fact that it requires me to pump immediately after arriving at work. That means my work day starts a bit later and I end up pumping 4 times at work. Yes, 4 freaking times! I am trying to cut back but there are those pesky supply issues I'm worried about. I've actually starting pumping just about what I need so I would hate to see that stop.

So here's my game plan: pacify her until 6 AM. Yup, that's it. The sum total of my awesome strategy. It will involve a lot of getting up by me and DH but I'm hoping after a few nights she will start sleeping on her own until 6 AM. It starts our morning juggle a bit earlier too but we can handle that. After all, it's not like we'll get much sleep with the "pacify her until 6 AM" plan. Am I crazy? Has anyone else dealt with this and have advice you can share with me? Or how about just good thoughts?

Cameron's last feeding is 4 ounces at around 6:30 PM if anyone is curious. We still keep her tightly swaddled throughout the night. Her stomach used to grumble while I was feeding her in the middle of the night but that hasn't happened for a couple of weeks so I don't think she's starving when she wakes up, if that makes sense.

Fussy, busy evenings

I have been warned about fussy evenings, especially with Cameron in daycare. Cameron isn't a fussy baby but she is definitely not getting enough sleep during the day at daycare. She's at about 2-3 hours worth of naps compared to the 5-6 hours she gets at home on the weekends. Sometimes she needs a 30 minute nap as we drive home and get settled. But even then she is usually in bed and asleep by 6:30 PM. Cameron's fussiness manifests itself in her wanting to be held basically from the time we get home from school to the time she goes to bed. Thank goodness there are two of us or we wouldn't have dinner until 8 PM.

Cameron is all tuckered out and needs a little cat nap.

I'm going to go ahead and put on my judgemental hat and ask, "How the heck can parents not put their kids to bed early?" I know parents who keep their babies up until 9 PM and even later. I shudder to think about the havoc that would wreck on Cameron's sweet disposition.

Of course with a very early bedtime for Cameron that means I am squeezing a lot into an evening. I am usually home around 5 PM and have to:

• Start dinner (or DH does - he cooks more than me these days!)
• Feed Cameron
• Wash bottles
• Wash pumping gear
• Prepare bottles for the next day
• Make my lunch
• Prepare my outfit for the next day (I have been doing this for 2 years and I highly recommend it!)
• Put Cameron to bed
• Wash dishes (whoever doesn't cook does this)
• Relax
• Pump before bed

That's a lot to get done by 9 PM! I completely understand the "juggle" that so many people complain about. I'm living it! Why 9 PM? Well, that's when I go to bed. Yes, that's right. I go to bed at 9 PM, read and am usually fast asleep by 9:30 PM. I hate people who are totally fine on 6 hours of sleep. I need 8-9 or am much less effective at work.

How about the rest of you? What do your evening juggles look like? What do other parents do to make things easier in the evenings?

All tuckered out

Apparently this week was a little rough on Cameron. The not sleeping during the day at school has resulted in a lot of sleeping on Saturday. She's also been a little cranky and I hear her coughing every once in a while. Not very frequently but definitely more than the occassional cough infants do. DH had a slight sore throat a few days ago so I'm going to hope that it is something slight and passing and not something she picked up at school. Because getting sick just one week after starting daycare? And just as I'm heading back to work? Life would not be that cruel to me!

Cameron and I had our regular playgroup today and she made it about one hour before she was a ready for another two (!) hour nap. Poor little girl.

Charlie checks out Cameron as she plays in her Bumbo

Cameron and Mommy spend some quality time together. Cameron plays with two of her "boyfriends".

Slowly adjusting

We are three days into school for Cameron and we are all slowly adjusting. It has helped that my friend Helen is in town to keep me distracted from thinking about Cameron too much. My biggest issue so far? Naps. Or rather the lack of naps. I've been picking Cameron up at 4 PM so she can get at least one hour long nap before her last two feedings and bed time. That won't be happening next week when I'm back at work and I pick her up at 5 PM.

Cameron has been napping for about 30 minutes twice a day while at daycare. I expressed my dismay to the teacher and asked if her transition would get better. While assured it would and that they are swaddling her (but not the super swaddle) I am still very nervous about how much she is sleeping during the day. She used to nap for about 6 hours while I was home with her. And was rarely crabby, even in the evenings. Now, even after her one hour third nap, she is a crab monster in the evenings. I shudder to think how bad it will be when she doesn't get that long last nap.

I appreciate that she is interested in everything and won't sleep but I question how hard the teachers are trying to get Cameron to sleep and stay asleep. With 8 other infants I can't imagine they have the time to spend keeping her asleep. I'm also not happy with the level of detail they are providing in her daily log. Basically it is just a list of dirty diapers. They should at least tell me which feeding she doesn't finish her full bottle at (which they said they would originally). I also want to know if she's "talking", getting tummy time, etc. I just want to scoop her up and get out of there not spend 10 minutes asking questions. Plus, it is usually a different teacher at the end of the day than in the morning. Am I crazy? Should I be pushing for more written detail?

On the plus side Cameron has been sleeping either through the night or close to it with a wake up at 4 AM. It is kind of a pain when she sleeps until 5 AM because I have to hold her off until 6 which can get dicey. So, any thoughts about napping? Will Cameron start sleeping more at school or will I just have to suck it up and deal with a crappy evening?

Cameron in an adorable dress and leggings that Auntie Helen gave her. Cameron is tuckered out after a long day at school

Daddy decided to be silly and put a sock on Cameron's head. Auntie Helen gets a snuggle in.

Updated: Cameron had a wonderful day at school and napped for almost 4 hours, including a two hour long nap! I promise to try and not expect miracles and just hope that as the days pass Cameron does learn to nap better in a more hectic environment than home.

What's that I hear?

I am here to tell you that Mommy Ears are not a myth. In fact, they could be a super power. I find myself waking up at 12 AM or 1 AM and wondering why I'm awake. Turns out I hear a small stirring sound from Cameron and it's like a marching band in my ear. I jerk awake and lie there for a couple of minutes waiting to see if she needs a pacifier or is falling back to sleep on her own. I even keep the monitor over on DH's side of the bed so I supposedly can't hear as much. Yeah right.

Normally I am a light sleeper but being a mother has taken it to a whole new level. Funny thing is I also find myself waking up even when Cameron doesn't stir. She is usually up around 3 AM for a feeding and if she isn't then I find myself wide awake, staring at the clock and wondering if she is going to sleep all night. And if she does sleep all night will she be up at 5 AM instead of 7 AM and then her whole feeding and napping schedule will be thrown off? Yes, these are the things I think about in the middle of the night.

I wonder, is it just mothers who have super hearing or do dads too? I haven't heard of one yet...but you tell me!

While Cameron has definitely started learning how to reach for things she isn't actually pointing at anything here. I'm sure that will come soon enough.

Daddy dances with his little girl.