Meet the Parents

Grammy and Bumpa are making the 14 hour trek from Massachusetts to Charlotte today. They are on their way to a nice vacation in Hilton Head, SC. In order to prepare for their arrival, DH and I had a much longer chore list than we usually do. After all, we have to look like responsible home owners when they come to visit, don't we?

So the hedges were clipped, the driveway cleaned (damn those squirrels and their nut dropping!), furniture was dusted, floors were swept and mopped and everything was put in its place. It's kind of nice when we are expecting company because we care that much more about cleaning than when it's just us and the dog.

The parents' imminent arrival reminds me of the first time I brought DH to meet them. I was bringing him with me to my sister's wedding at the end of December (2002) so I figured I should break him in first. Approaching my family can be a lot like gentling a wild animal. It takes a lot of up front planning, no sudden movement and treats. Lots of treats.

To start with, I told DH lots of stories about my family. Mostly funny ones so he wouldn't realize how crazy we really are. I then trapped him in my car and drove the 15 miles to my parents' house. Waiting for us when we arrived were lots of treats: beer for him, wine for me, appetizers and a home cooked meal.

I wasn't surprised that he hit it off with my parents. I come from a pretty matriarchal family as does he. So he totally knew that buttering up the mom was the way to go. Somehow at the end of the night she talked him into having some homemade lemoncello with her. This was after several beers so it totally put DH over the edge. Good thing I had planned on driving us back already. Many of my readers have had Grammy push lemoncello on them. But everyone else probably knows it best from Danny Devito's stellar performance on The View about a year ago. Apparently he got so drunk on lemoncello he was still drunk the next day and sat on Barbara Walter's lap. So needless to say, it has a kick to it.

Once he finished the glass (!) my mom poured for him, he was in. The rest of the process leading up to our wedding years later was just a formality.

My parents don't look that crazy, do they?

The joys and pains of a reverse commute

When I started in my new role at BigFinance a couple of months ago I was told that the team would be moving offices. Instead of the 13th (yes, the only 13th floor in Charlotte!) floor of a high rise, we would be ensconced in a low rise in the southern suburbs of the city. I was conflicted about the move. I liked being uptown because of the energy and the food options. I could walk anywhere and not stress if I didn't pack my lunch. Bliss. But I also knew I needed the face time with my boss and the rest of the team.

Because I joined the team after the move was decided I couldn't be included in the regular move. Instead, I had to wait another 2 months. There were a few people left on the floor, but not many. I get in early but I found myself having to turn on the lights every day because no one else was in yet. And there were no administrative assistants left so none of the office or kitchen supplies got replaced. Plus, I had zero motivation to look nice in the morning. Make-up went first, quickly followed by a decent hairstyle. It certainly made the morning routine quicker but the days dragged on without human interaction (aside from the millions of conference calls).

As a result, I was actually excited to start at the new office a few weeks ago. What I hadn't really counted on was the change to my commute. The time it takes (door to door) is about the same because I used to park 7 blocks from the office and walk but the total distance is more than twice what it was before. I also deal with many more stupid drivers. I'm not really sure why that is but if you take people off of the major roads then their stupidity factor increases. Because I used to only be in the car for 15 minutes my frustration level with other drivers wasn't as high. Now I find myself using the horn more often. Yes, I am a Massachusetts driver and no one else in this state knows how to drive.

I'm thankful that gas prices have dropped significantly or what I'm saving in parking fees would be erased. Yes, the biggest two benefits to my new office is that I don't pay for parking and I can park 20 feet from the front door. Although the latter is a double edged sword considering my views on exercise. I also enjoy seeing the long line of cars going in the opposite direction. I can snicker and mutter, "Suckers" as I zip by. Evil? Me?!?

The biggest drawback is that you have to drive everywhere. So if I'm not motivated to bring my lunch then I have to hop in the car and drive. We're also in the middle of nowhere (relatively speaking) and I miss the city. It's not like DH and I get uptown very often. Fortunately I do have the occasional meeting in the city so that should tide me over.

I know you will all be jealous when I tell you it takes 20-30 minutes, depending on traffic, for me to get to work. And I hate what a waste of time it is! Where are our own personal transporters? When the heck will that be a reality? Screw flying cars, I want that! What about the rest of you? Are you like DH and have a 10 foot commute to work because you work at home? Or are you over an hour each way like A.'s husband?

Is now the best time to get an MBA? Yes, if you can get in.

There has been a significant uptick in the number of applications to business school over the past year. I'm sure Mommy, Esq. can quote similar statistics for law school. Over the past 20 years it has become a given that in bad economic times, people go back to school. Why? It's probably the best time to go back because career advancement and salary increases are less likely. Adding to one's education and business credentials in a downturn can be a smart investment, particularly if the economy starts to right itself once you come out of the program.

I've had the odd experience of being employed just before economic hardships. I came out of my post-graduate year at Carnegie Mellon in 2000 and immediately found a job, about 6 months before the Internet bubble burst. Similarly, I have come out of UVA's MBA program 12 months before the market tanked. I am hopeful that BigFinance will continue to do well and I won't have to worry about layoffs (at least at my level/division). I did survive 4 layoffs in SmallResearch, as did DH. DH is still there so we are both hoping his tenure of 7+ years will help him through any potential layoffs.

But while going back to school during bad times is a good idea, it's also an idea that thousands of other people have. On top of that, international recruitment for top MBA programs is way up. At Darden, more students are international than are women. So that means if you want to go to a top 30 school (and frankly it's not worth 100K in debt if you don't) you need to be assured that you are unique and offer something that the school can't turn down. Me? I had a couple of things: a liberal arts undergraduate major, 5 years work experience at the same company, being a women (yes, I'll use it to my advantage), significant career progression, and multiple activities. My test scores weren't that great.

I recommend an MBA program in particular if you are looking to switch careers. I didn't want to stay in Sales or Consulting and I wanted a bump in my salary. Going back to business school and having access to a great career center was a must. Working with a MBA career center is very different than an undergraduate one. CMU's was useless but UVA had more than a hundred big name companies solicit resumes and conduct interviews. That is why it is so critical to get into a top MBA program. A small college is not going to have the same exposure or resources. So why pay 40K a year in tuition?

A couple of people have recently asked my advice about applying to business school. Here are few tips:

1. You should have at least 4 years work experience with career progression. That means advancements or job changes. It is best if you can stick with one company but we are becoming a country of job hoppers so it's less of an issue.


2. Take a GMAT course. I studies on my own but the money I spent on the Princeton Review was totally worth it. There were 5 people in my class so we got a lot of individual attention. It also forces you to study several hours a week. I'm sure Natalie and DH remember me spending hours at the kitchen table.


3. Start volunteering. If you don't have activities you've been doing for a few years, it is never too late to start. But 6 months in a volunteer role won't impress. So if you have nothing but your job, consider waiting another year.


4. Have a plan. Know what schools you are targeting and why. I applied to 6 schools (Harvard just for shits and giggles) and would have been happy at any of them. It is expensive and there is a lot of paperwork. Harvard was almost $400 when I applied 4 years ago! I decided to focus on schools with strong general management program (no specialization required) and utilization of the case study method.


5. References are critical. I lined up my references 9 months before I started the application process. In order to make things easy for them I put together a packet of information on me. My resume (more detailed that you might use to apply for a position), list of all my activities and why I did them. Both were professional references so I also included several projects I worked on where I contributed significantly. I provided a detailed list of strengths and weaknesses. Why so much work? You must be consistent when you apply to a program. You will be asked to share your strengths and weaknesses and you want your answers to match theirs.


6. Visit the school. Darden required me to visit for an interview and they probably did it because the campus is so beautiful. But a visit even when not required demonstrates a level of commitment.


7. Be a minority. Sorry, guys, but it's going to only get harder for white men to get into school.


8. Consider a part-time program. It can be more challenging to switch careers with a part-time program. Also, the career centers tend to not be as good as full time programs. But if your company will help defray costs and you don't mind it taking more than 3 years, it could be a good middle road.
   

Here's a couple of articles I've come across recently:

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1853093,00.html

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-mba5-2008nov05,0,595378.story

Do others have advice about graduate programs?

Living in a battleground state

During the Democratic primary Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton called my house several times asking for my vote. Considering that the North Carolina primary wasn't until May, it was nice to feel wanted. A long, drawn out battle for the nomination worked in our favor. I doubt that will happen again as most primary elections are wrapped up in the first few months of a campaign. McCain didn't bother to call as he was the assured front-runner for the Republican party.

I was tickled to receive the recorded messages as that has never happened to me before. What could explain this wealth of exposure to candidates? It could be argued that this is the first time I've had a home phone during a presidential election year. Or that the first thing I did when I got to this lovely red state was register. Or maybe that for the first time in my voting life I don't live in a state where the outcome is entirely predictable (yes, I'm looking at you Massachusetts). But really, I think it all comes down to one thing. I live in a battleground state.

For the past several weeks we have been bombarded by calls from Senator Obama's campaign. Michelle Obama left us a voice mail the other day. Little old ladies called asking us to be sure and vote early. Young college students wanted to know if Obama could count on our vote. It was inspiring to think of the logistics that went into organizing the campaign in North Carolina. Joe Biden will begin a tour of the state in Charlotte today. Sarah Palin visited the rural areas (ahem, the "real" America) and told us that Obama was friends with a terrorist so we should vote for McCain.

Obama has stopped by Charlotte at least 5 times over the past 6 months. McCain? Zilch so far. The state has gone Republican for the presidential race consistently. Interestingly a Democrat usually wins the Governor's mansion even though the state leans Republican. In Charlotte, probably one of the most liberal areas of the state, we have a Republican mayor running for Governor.

This year is particularly exciting because the state could go Democrat. I love that my vote counts. Yes, intellectually I am aware that every vote counts (well, not really because of the elecorate but that's a whole other issue) but when you have lived in Massachusetts during a John Kerry race, it is pretty obvious that the home senator is going to take the state. I think Obama's campaign is being smart by getting peope out to vote early. The more votes being cast early, the sooner everyone will know where the state is going. But that raises the question, does early voting influence voting on election day? I haven't heard any statistics yet and I'm an NPR junky. But early voting is a fairly new concept. It will be interesting to see how that pans out over the next set of elections.

So far Obama is up by at least 3 points in every poll I've seen for North Carolina. With the margin of error typically at 5% that means the state could go either way. It would be so cool if North Carolina's 15 electoral votes decide the entire race. Take that, Florida! I am mailing my absentee ballot next week. And will be reassured that for this election, at least, my vote will count.

A rose by any other name???

Over the past year I have noticed that my name has become super popular. I'm not talking about for kids, but for adults. Stacey reached a popularity peak in the 1970s, no coicidence that I was born in that decade (ah hem, late in that decade). According to Social Security, Stacey ranked its highest in 1971-1973 at #41. In 2006 it was 977.

I suppose it makes sense that now I'm seeing all of these women named Stacey (or Stacy or Stacie) in the news or at my company in leadership positions. Most of us with that name were born in the 70s so now we are becoming successful in our careers and are more likely to be mentioned publicly. I did hear a Stacey on the radio who was a cop and that kind of threw me. I just don't think of women with the name Stacey as being cops. Of course Stacey Keech might disagree seeing as how he played many cops but he's a guy and an actor so it doesn't count.

So what does Stacey mean exactly? Well, according to Wikipedia it is a unisex name (although only 7.8% are male) and can mean either "bountiful grapes" or "resurrection." Stacy is the most common spelling (I have a friend who spells it that way. Hi, Stacy!) which was frustrating when I was a kid because I could never find the correct spelling for all the personalized chatchkis (sp?) that I absolutely had to have.

I'm happy to see women in my company in leadership positions with the name Stacey. It gives me hope that I am on my way up! Of course, then I might be confused with all the other Staceys. Which raises the question about picking baby names. Do we pick something unique (Apple, Rumor, Kingston) or more common (William, Thomas, Katherine)? I don't want my kid to hate his or her name. I never did (thanks, Mom!) but I also never felt like I had a cool name. I read an article a few months ago that talked about how people with more common names (like Lisa) were perceived initially as being nicer than people with less common names. It's such a difficult choice! Of course I like the most common names in 2007. Check them out:

1. Jacob, Emily
2. Michael, Isabella
3. Ethan, Emma
4. Joshua, Ava
5. Daniel, Madison
6. Christopher, Sophia
7. Anthony, Olivia
8. William, Abigail
9. Matthew, Hannah
10. Andrew, Elizabeth

Picking a baby name has to be one of the most stressful things to do. I bet more fights come up over names than anything else. What do the rest of you think? Any particular reasons your parents picked your names? Did you decide on a common name for your kid(s)?

Best practices in building a baby registry

I bit the bullet a few weeks ago and started my baby registry. Being the organized person I am, I first stated with a spreadsheet of all the items I thought I would need. Then, realizing I know nothing, I forwarded it to my sisters for their review and comments. Thank goodness I did! Mommy, Esq. has very recent experience with her 8 week old twins and A. was a researching fiend with Finn.

There are a few things I have to wait on once I know the sex of the baby. How can I register for bedding if I don't know the decor of the nursery, which is of course, dependent on whether we are having a boy or girl?

I think it's great to be able to register but DH and I are assuming that there will be many big ticket items we will be paying for ourselves. It is amazing how many things are "required" for a baby registry. I'm very thankful that I had the input from my sisters or I could have ended up funding the economic recovery with the items suggested by retailers. Some of items I have dismissed out of hand include: wipes warmer, jogging stroller (yeah right), door jumper, nursing wrap/cover, and high chair toys (really? Isn't food enough?).

What about the rest of you? Any advice on must haves or items to stay away from? Also, I'm curious what readers think about registering for babies after #1. I had always thought it was like a wedding or a shower - one time only. But I'm seeing registries for babies #2 and #3. Thoughts?

Nesting Saturday

Today I woke up with the desire to clean out my kitchen cabinets and linen closet. I was out of bed by 8 AM and went down stairs to survey the kitchen. DH (that is Dear Husband for those of you not familiar with the acronym) was pouring his second cup of coffee. I immediately started clearing out some cabinets in the mud room and sorting into piles. Because he is taller he helped me move a few things which somehow resulted in him helping me clean out and rearrange all of the kitchen cabinets and drawers. Thanks, honey!

I took advantage of the built-ins we have in the library to move some of the less used serving-ware out of the kitchen cabinets. I also got rid of an old George Foreman Grill which hasn't seen the light of day for at least 2 years. We ended up with a nice pile of kitchen-ware to donate to GoodWill. Now that I am more organized in the kitchen I am amazed at how much space we have! There should be plenty of room for all the baby stuff that will be residing there. Assuming I don't fill it up with purchases from Target first!

Speaking of Target; I went over there after having breakfast with DH. His job was to trim all of the million or so bushes we have around the property. My parents are coming to visit next Friday and the house must look nice. Or at least like we are responsible home owners. While Jeremy was doing that, I was doing what came naturally to me: spending money. I picked up a bunch of clear plastic storage bins and a few other knickknacks. Did you know it is impossible to leave Target for less than $100? I think it's a law or something.

Anyway, upon return home (and being distracted by weeding out the front bed) I tackled the linen closet. I organized all of our extra blankets in one bin, sheets in another, table clothes, linen napkins in the last one. It totally opened up a ton of room.

Being on a roll I moved on to my closet. I did what I probably should have been doing for years and put away all of my summer clothes. Not only do they not fit me any more but the weather is getting noticeably cooler. I also moved all of my nice work closes into the spare bedroom's closet. Now I have plenty of space for the maternity clothes. Thanks, Mommy Esq. for the selection!

I am feeling nice and organized now. I'm not sure how long that will last but for the first time in weeks I don't have any clothes sitting in a laundry basket! I think Sunday will be a nice and relaxing in comparison. Even if DH does make me watch a ton of football.

Any suggestions on another organizing project for me to tackle?