AI Season 8: Hollywood Week Round 2

Welcome to the horror show that is group performance auditions. Group performances are my least favorite part of the regular season results show. These folks aren't auditioning to be part of a band, they are solo "art-eests" and don't play nice with others. Let's see how horribly wrong it can all go, shall we?

Ryan recaps that 40 contestants have bid adieu to American Idol and welcomes us to Group Round. The contestants are allowed to team up on their own (love it!) and have until the next day to come up with a routine. Quite a few contestants are left out on the cold including Tatiana (she of the mermaid dress and annoying laugh). Her teammates immediately peg her as a looney. And they are credited with massive amounts of intelligence by me.

Lauren, Jasmine, Rose (hippy girl whose parents died) and Bikini Girl are a group (Team Diva). Needless to say Rose is disgusted with Bikini Girl and she ratchets up in my estimation. Meanwhile Tatiana has her first of what is sure to be many meltdowns. She tries to get another group to accept her and pleads her case (to Team Compromise aka Nathanial, Kristen and Nancy). They are far from won over.

The more successful groups (or dumb ones) wrap it up and head to bed. What is sad is that so many more groups will be up until 3 or 4 AM and probably lose their voices as a result. The Tatiana drama continues and I'm completely bored with it. She needs to be cut, immediately. Team Compromise adds to the drama, noise and annoyance level. Multi-talented, aren't they?

Meanwhile Bikini Girl has a conflict with her group and retires to her room to cry. I feel no pity. Gay guy (Nathanial) from Team Compromise had a major meltdown and DH makes me fast forward the show because he can't take the annoyance any more. Don't worry, it's just more of Nathanial's meltdown and manufactured drama. 12 year old girls act better than these people.

Morning comes and Team Diva tries to track down Bikini Girl who wants nothing to do with them. Apparently sleep is more important than a shot at American Idol. Of course, she really didn't have a shot and Simon was just playing with her so it's probably for the best.

Will this agony of preparation never end? Shit, here comes Bikini Girl. Rose (who decides wearing her AI number in her hair is a good look) talks a good game but you know none of them will really confront her. Bikini Girl announces that the rest of the group needs to teach her what she missed. They get up and leave. About right.

30 minutes in and we finally get the contestants out on stage. Simon lectures the group that forgetting the words is a cardinal sin. He does it because he is right and because it freaks the hell out of the contestants. I like it!

Up first are India, Justin, Kris and Matt (White Chocolate). India does a little rapping. The group sounds good together and have a lot of energy. The judges respond favorably and all are through to Round 3.

Montage of bad group performances including bumbled lyrics. I forgot how they only get to choose from a couple of songs. The only notable updates here is that Jorge and Nick are through.

Alex, Ryan, Ann Marie and Emily are "Action Squad" and don't appear to have their choreography together. Individually they sound OK but as a group they can't harmonize worth shit. Plus there are forgotten words. Lots of forgotten words. Alex and Ann Marie are in and Emily and Ryan are out. Emily is crying as well she should but pretty graceful about the whole thing and recognizes at least that it was her own fault. Too bad she dumped her band and a European tour for this! Ryan claims Paula is the devil.

Montage of Simon's exasperation with the contestants. He should watch the "preparation" phase and really get a headache.

Danny, Jamar, Taylor, and some other girl (Rainbow Coalition) do a great a capella job with "Somebody". Simon tries to screw with their heads by calling Danny out but of course they all make it to Round 3. I am very much enjoying Danny and hope he isn't getting too much exposure in these audition rounds. Sometimes it can be the kiss of death. If you think back to past winners (or even late finalists) they tend to have not been featured extensively early in the season.

Jeremy, Adam, Matt Breitzle, Jesse Langseth are showcased as excellent singers and are all through.

Team Diva has appeared to kissed and made up (get your dirty minds out of the gutter!) but I am not hopeful. Lauren does OK as does Bikini Girl but I am so filled with hate I think everything she does is crap. DH comments, "She isn't even that pretty." Isn't he so sweet? Rose forgets the words and jumps around the stage like an idiot. Jasmine is the best. Simon asks them to point out why they sucked as a group. Lauren, Katrina and Rose are out. Katrina even poses when her name is called! No shame and Kara completely calls her on it. I feel bad for Rose but individual contestants can shine even if their group sucks. She didn't have the words or the confidence to pass through to Round 3.

David Osmond is also out as is Aaron (aka Class President) who is still OK because he's only 17. I remember when I was new and shiny and crap would roll of my back too.

Now Tatiana's team is up and they aren't so good. Anyone shocked? Well, you should be because the judges disagree and let everyone through. Tatiana is annoying in her happiness. Full on hate now. I am mentally bringing that bitch down! Simon better pay attention to my projected thoughts.

Team Compromise is the last group to go. Nathanial moved into my bad graces with his first audition so I am not expecting anything besides crappiness. Of course they pray to God because an almighty being is really invested in their success. They sing Duffy's Mercy. Nathanial is pretty decent, Nancy seems to come up with some kind of weird accent and forgotten lyrics. Kristen makes an effort but she's pretty tired and screeches some notes. Basically they are a mess. During the judging Kristen reaches out to Nancy but Nancy acts like the brat she is and shies away. The judges are a bit disgusted. Nathanial and Kristen are through and Nancy and her bad attitude are dismissed. Nancy blames everyone else but herself. As so many of these contestants do.

Blind guy is still in and I'm starting to wonder why they are hiding him from us. Are they trying to avoid overexposure because he really could go far? Hmmmm. Also still in is the kissing couple. There is a quick flash on Nick/Norman who also makes it through. Interesting that they don't feature him when he's is being "normal" don't you think?

Next week Hollywood Week continues with Round 3. The previews show Nathanial again and I can only hope that all this air time means he will totally crash and burn.

To recap my recap I am bummed that Rose is out and had my prediction of Emily as a Top 36 denied. And that's why Hollywood Week changes everything!

SJ out.