Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Separation anxiety or a mommy phase?

When I dropped off Cameron at school this morning she started whining and crying and didn't want me to plop her on the floor per usual. Normally I put her down and she immediately starts playing and is happy as a clam. She doesn't wave good-bye to me but I also don't push the leaving process. A quick kiss, drop off of bag and a wave good-bye. Cameron hardly ever notices I'm gone. Apparently this is not going to be the case going forward.

I shouldn't be surprised at the start of this mommy phase and/or separation anxiety. It's about the right time frame (12-15 months) and for the past week she has been very, very clingy. And only with me. If DH tries to wake her up or spend some alone time with her she does nothing but cry. I am attempting to be good and stay away. But it's hard! Equally hard is that Cameron is attached to me from the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep. I don't think that I do anything differently than DH in changing her diaper or getting her ready for school or bed. But she is fairly mellow (aside from some thrashing) for me and constantly whining and squirming with him.

DH picked her up from school yesterday and Cameron cried her head off all the way home. True, she is tired and not napping well. But poor DH is getting tired of being the "bad guy" in Cameron's eyes. It's frustrating for him, me and probably Cameron. Perhaps I should go on a business trip and leave the two of them to work it out? Not that I have any business traveling coming up...

Suggestions from other parents who have had to deal with this?


LauraC said...

For us, the boys flip flop on whether pick up or drop off is a disaster. In the 1s room, someone cried Every Single Day at drop off. Lots of clinging and crying. We just dropped them off and headed out, they always stop within a few minutes.

(Right now we have an issue with pick up as Nate never wants to come home. That makes me look like a great parent!)

I hate to say ride out the phase but these phases do tend to pass quickly. The boys have phases where they prefer Jon over me and me over Jon.

Merri Ann said...

When my kids are doing this I try to carve out a little extra one on one time. I figure if they are needing me more right now to get them over some anxiety or other then I need to find the time. I try to maintain our normal pick up and drop off routines at school but sit or play with them more at home.

I have to say, though, 15 to 18 months was for me the hardest parenting phase yet. Mine seemed to have an understanding that they could communicate but lacked the verbal skills to get their needs understood and were constantly frustrated by it.

Miss Madison's Mommy said...

my husband too is frustrated b\c madi is fussy and whiney when he gets home from work. I can't help that she is a tenicle growing out of my leg! hahahaha this phase of clingy-ness is making me rethink my decision to stay home with her. It's sooooooooooo not fun!

Stephanie said...

This is definitely a stage. My boy is now 18 months and still has bouts of clinginess at drop off time. I KNOW he loves his daycare teachers and his friends are always eager to play with him when he arrives, but some days - ugh! The teachers are really helpful with getting him started playing and then I blow him a kiss and say 'bye'. He's usually ok with it. This too shall pass. Oh, and the preference thing...they'll flip-flop on that, too.

Just when you think you've got it figured out - they change it up on ya!!

Drew said...

You need to save this for when she is a teenager and when Daddy does everything right and Mommy everything wrong! It will be hard, but you just have to get your husband through it... It really should pass quickly I am guessing, right? I am pretty certain this will not happen to us because nothing has ever chosen me over Joel (Big). I say this not with sadness, just with fact.