American Idol: Hollywood Week Round 3

This is it, kids. The last round of auditions before The Chair. Two hours? Jeesh, I should have picked up some wine on the way home.

Ryan introduces us to the trials and tribulations that got the contestants to this point. I roll my eyes at him. 71 contestants are left for the final round. Per usual they will be broken up into rooms and told which of the three rooms goes on to the next round.

Immediately DH spots a few good contestants in room 1 and thinks they are going through. With the feature of some good black girl in room 3 DH predicts that room 2 is going home. Is he right? We'll see shortly. Or at least as shortly as I can hope for in a two hour show.

Ryan keeps showing us performances from Hollywood Week. I sigh and realize that the 2 hours is because of filler. Before we go to break Ryan tells us that we will see the Top 24 announced this episode. WTF? They better not be eliminating The Chair. That shit is solid gold drama.

Does anyone else laugh that the producers put these kids in barren hotel conference rooms? I mean, not even a chair! Or at least booze like in Top Chef to get them through it. Ryan keeps trying to get me to root for Jermaine and I'm not having it. Brick House and Man in the Mirror? Plus he tries to tell the judges the band fucked up? Not cool.

Siobhan is a glass blowing apprentice. How freaking cool is that? But apparently she wants to be a star too and not just work in Renaissance Fairs. We see Crystal Bowersox again who is the tattoo ladden mom. And I can't help but want to email my old classmate Mike Bowersox and ask if she is related to him. She does well in her last audition and I'd be surprised if she doesn't make it through.

Up next is Adam someone or other who didn't have much personality but has a nice voice. He had the misfortune to be in Mary Powers' group. For his last audition he does a nice job with a ubiquitous Jason Mraz song. Big Mike also put his new baby daddy spin on the same song. Tondrick Hall (he of the back flips) put his own spin on the song and I stretch in boredom.

Thaddeus Johnson's mother decided she would stage parent her son all the way to the Top 24. No pressure kid. DH calls Thaddeus the "daughter his mother always wanted." Cruel but true. The band starts the wrong song for him but Thaddeus shows some humor and busts out a decent version of Man in the Mirror. Is it too much to hope we don't have a Michael Jackson tribute this season? After the Grammys I'm feeling tapped out.

DH and I mock the carpet pattern in the hotel rooms as Ryan brings us to room 2. Up first to tug our heartstrings is Charity Vance. I remain dead inside and think DH's prediction could be correct. Up next is one of the many minster related contestants. I can't remember her name but I remember liking her voice a lot. When Ryan shows us Mary Powers in room 2 I line up behind DH and place money that room 2 is out. Mary's mediocre Katy Perry performance seals the deal.

As Ryan keeps nattering on and on and on I wonder why none of these contestants have an iPad or video iPod or even a book. I can only assume the producers cut them off so to increase the drama. As I ponder this question the dock worker shows us another mediocre Man in the Mirror performance. I'm guessing they only had a short list of songs to choose from.

Hope Johnson, another casualty of Mary Powers' group, mangles a Daughtry song. Ryan is really stacking the deck against these contestants in room 2.

Moving on, 40 minutes in, to room 3. Ryan mentions 7 or 8 contestants including Shelby who auditioned in Atlanta and swore her way through to Hollywood. We see an embarrassing snippet of her missing the words, stressing out and crying. Don't worry honey, if you make it to the Top 24 it's not like you'll have to remember a song a week or anything. Shelby manages to pull it off pretty well in the final audition but it's far from great. DH wonders if her face really did freeze that way.

Aaron Kelly goes through his family soap opera. He decides to go with the ASPCA classic, Arms of the Angel. Ashley Rodriguez is featured next and DH still claims she will be in the Top 10. Quick cuts of three more contestants including the wanna be black country singer, Hayley Vaughn. She wears a flower in her hair for her final audition and I shudder thinking of Jasmine from two seasons ago. Or was it three?

Jannell Wheeler whines about being sick but picks a (the only) Taylor Swift song I like and does OK. She thinks she didn't do well and we hear more Doubting Thomases via the joys of editing.

Finally, at least I hope so, Ryan takes us to the break and promises us that we will see the cuts when we come back. I urge him to hurry up so we can get to The Chair.

Dammit. More scenes from room 1 contestants. But id does show us Andrew Garcia so it will be no surprise when they are safe. Room 2 includes all of the "fighters." With Mary Powers there, I don't doubt it. Room 3 is up and down room. Needless to say, room 1 is through first. Ellen tries to screw with them a little but she doesn't make them wait too long. Their screams of joy clearly echo to the other two rooms who know they now have a 50/50 shot of making it to The Chair.

Minute 58 and we just caught up to the live show. Crap, I hate that. I'd watch the Olympics for a bit but Lost is taping too. Stupid DVR that can't tape two shows AND let me watch a third.

Room 2 is up next and Simon breaks it pretty gently to them. Looks like DH was right. We need to take him to Vegas. Of course, that means room 3 is in. So far so good. Aside from a few minor quibbles, I generally agree with the judges.

The contestants cheer and dance and I do my own happy dance singing (badly), "The Chair, the chair, it's time for the chair!" This year the contestants don't go up an elevator. Instead they have to walk down to the stage of the Kodak Theatre. But at the end of the walks we will have our Top 24.

Sorry everyone but I'm for bed. Yes, I am that pathetic but I promise a second recap with The Chair tomorrow evening.

SJ out.