Wednesday, January 28, 2009

AI Season 8 Auditions: Salt Lake City

Shout out to Natalie for reminding us that we get 3 nights of auditions this week and are on to Hollywood Week next week. Phew. I am definitely done with auditions.

Welcome to the capital of Mormons. I'm sure Helen could give you a whole sermon on the coolness of "sister-wives" but I don't watch Big Love and I think it's creepy. I don't know much about Mormons aside from the occasional knock on my door. Yes, I understand that "officially" monogamous marriages are endorsed. But there is a reason Mitt Romney had to keep justifying himself to America when he was running for President.

Salt Lake City is apparently the home of High School Musical 1-3. Is it sad that Paula is the one who knew that? And why didn't I? It looked more like Arizona to me. Paula is confident in the talent here. Randy Jackson didn't know what state it was in and I question whether he is eating enough to sustain himself. He's looking particularly svelte this season.

Up first: David Osmond, son of one of the original Osmonds. Like Donny and Marie, Alan Osmond decided a huge family was the way to go. Kind of sad that both David and Alan have MS. I wonder who is going to win? The blind guy or the MS guy...we need a Family Guy or South Park episode on that immediately. David sings a Christian Rock song (of course) and does a decent job. Apparently every male singer this season feels as though lots of runs and trills is the way to go. The judges give him a lot of constructive criticism which of course means he's in.

Next we are treated to a Gothic freak, Tara Matthews, who has decided that pouring her size 20 body into a corset and fishnets is a good way to go. She also has ESP so she should have known that coming in to audition would only earn her the ridicule of the judges and the audience.

Montage of really bad singers.

Chris and his friend, Greg the Rabbit, bring in some Simon love to Chris' audition. Kara rightly calls it weird. She was prepped for what auditions are like, wasn't she? After letting him sing two songs Chris is dismissed. But Greg gets a hug from Simon. In my opinion that makes it all worthwhile. I love you Simon!

Montage of rejections contrasted with the "niceness" of the potential contestants. I yawn, loudly. Ryan tries to stir up trouble by telling the waiting room to stick to their guns when the judges say no.

Single mom, Frankie Jordan (24) auditions. She does has an unusual tone that is reminiscent of Amy Winehouse. I like her and think she could easily pass through Hollywood Week. The judges are unanimous. Stay off the drugs, Frankie!

Megan Corkery is also a single mom. She tells us her sob story of her divorce (not surprising considering she is 23) and I am completely distracted by her arm tattoo. I get an old fashioned vibe from her voice as well and think she has some "chops." She could use some vocal coaching but could go pretty far. The judges are unanimous on her as well.

The judges have been using "different" a lot to justify their selections during these auditions. A word of warning. That was the focus of their search the year that Fantasia Barrino won. And we've all seen how that worked out.

Montage of contestants accepted through to Hollywood set to a David Cook song. Earn those royalties while you can!

Austin is 17 and the Senior Class President. This is a kid who has had everything handed to him on a platter. Is this is "adversity" that he can write about on college applications? He sings a Train song and is mediocre in the garage band way. He obviously doesn't have any training because he doesn't pull out the runs and trills so common in musical theater students. Simon let's him sing his second song and it's a little better than the first but not much. The judges are bowled over by his "aw shucks" charm and let him through. Looks like he needs to find something else for his essays. I predict Hollywood Week will break him.

Montage of crying rejects. Montage of bad singers.

Odd girl from Hawaii who moved from that tropical paradise to Utah so that she could get noticed. Utah? WTH? Only if she wants to get noticed to be some guy's fourth wife. Her parents must be crazy too. She is very tall which put me in mind of Jordan Sparks (Randy agreed). I am shocked by her good audition. I really thought they were going for the crazy edit. She is through to Hollywood.

Speaking of crazy. Our last contestant of the night is "free spirit" Rose (17) and her obligatory sob story. Why does AI do this every time? Can't we go out on a high note? Why does it always have to be death or illness or poverty? Jeesh. So we are prepped that she won't be a weird one but an actual contender. Simon loves her look immediately. Rose does a great job with a Carol King song. She does have some minor pitch problems but that could be easily coached. Needless to say, she is through to Hollywood.

Montage of golden ticket holders.

All told, 13 moved on to next week. That brings the grand total up to 114. Tomorrow night is NYC and Puerto Rico. Odd combination which makes me think it's going to be a train wreck. Perhaps they have plumbed the depths of NYC one too many times?


G. said...

Thank goodness it's almost over. I can't watch it for more than five minutes straight and so applaud you for your dedication in the audition phase!

Jordan said...

The auditions are so predictable. When we see any sort of footage from a contestant's home or old pictures or interviews from the parents (away from the tryout venue) then we know the person is going to sing well and get the ticket. For once I'd like to see them do the sob story about a contestants rise from adversity and have them shot down by the judges. Does that make me a cruel person? Maybe, but I don't care.

Natalie said...

i must commend Stacey on her use of the musical terms "runs and trills".

Mommy, Esq. said...

I used my 30 second skip a lot - missed why that blond girl (17) with weird hair who looks all wholesome except the hair (maybe she smells like patchouli?) has a sob story. Oh, well. No big loss.