Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The post where I want to whine but you probably don't want to hear it

But it's my blog right? So consider yourself warned if you click on the title of this post. It's only 11 AM and I've already contemplated running to the bathroom to indulge in a deluge of self-pity tears. I was venting to my sisters on the phone this morning while driving in (3 way calling was designed for triplets) about how much of a wimp I think I am when it comes to dealing with stressful and argumentative work situations.

I told my sisters I would be stronger today. I wouldn't back down. I would marshal my facts and my figures and I would stand strong. I knew it was going to be a tough morning but I didn't anticipate it would start at 8 AM with someone yelling at me about the financials I put together because they thought it was too expensive. I consider myself a strong woman. I don't like to take crap from people, I am assertive in my personal and work life. But I also don't like confrontation. My sister, A., said, "No one likes to get teary and shaky." And that was spot on. I do find myself teary and shaky when I end up in these situations. I held it together at that 8 AM call and again at 8:30 and 9 AM where I got yelled at some more. But now all I want to do is go home and hide under the covers and hope that tomorrow is better.

Deep breathing helps. The fact that I am jumping from meeting to meeting with no real time to decompress doesn't help. Also not helping is that I feel like I am blowing in the wind when it comes to handing this difficult internal client with little support from senior management. Have I made some mistakes? Absolutely. But I am trying my damnest to handle unreasonable expectations and time lines with no relief in site. My boss is very understanding but the last thing I want is to break down in tears while talking with her about the pressure. But I do need to I turn to the Internet.

I need to learn how to handle pressure situations better so I don't feel teary and shaky multiple times a day. How do you handle stress at work? Have you ever found yourself sniveling in a bathroom stall?


Amanda said...

Sorry to hear your having a rough day. Maybe you'll have time to take a walk at lunch, that is what I have been doing. Helps me clear my head and I feel better afterward. Of course a big glass of wine with dinner always helps too :)

Mommy, Esq. said...

I have an office so I shut the door. I just remind myself life is too short and to brush it off and that usually works.

Nicole S. said...

I have no good advice but I can say that I have, on more than one occasion and at more than one job, cried in the bathroom over something work-related. I think I cried more at my last job than I did dealing with newborn twins on my own! :)

Hope things get better for you.

LauraC said...

At my last job, the environment was brutal. Lots of rude emails, condescending conversations, yelling. I hid in my office and cried. ONCE I cried in front of my manager and he never let me forget it bc "men don't cry at work."

SUCKS. Sorry to hear you're having a tough day.

Stephanie said...

Quite a few times, actually. Surprising, for someone who works in a Christian environment. My boss was one of those artistic types who didn't understand how things actually got done. Totally unreasonable rants about how he will never accept "no, it can't be done" for an answer.
My coworker and I pulled the proverbial rabbit out of a hat more times than I can count. Plus, he used to do what I called "gaslight" me (after that old movie). He'd say he told me something and then would go off on me when I said that I'd never heard it. I started having to take a co-worker with me whenever I had conversations with him. I'd probably be in the loony bin if it wasn't for her.

I second the ginormous glass of wine later!!! (((HUGS)))

Donna said...

I don't even want to confess how many times I've closed the office door and cried. It sometimes is not nice at all - at any job to be in a seriously stressful situation. I hope this let's up soon for you!

Miss Madison's Mommy said...

I've lost count of the number of times that has happened to me. It sucks. I just can't help it when I'm under that amount of stress! Hope it gets better for you, but your not alone!!

LER said...

hang in there...that work stuff is never fun. i don't think it ever gets easier to deal with conflict...i think the best solution - just avoid it at all cost..quit your job, hide in your house, stop paying will all work out! he he. seriously - hope the next days brings less stress!